In which I make a spectacle of myself.

In my daydreams, I am fabulous. Glamorous, well-dressed and perfectly groomed, graceful, witty, the center of attention wherever I go. But that's just my daydreams.

In real life, I'm actually fairly content to go about my day unnoticed. I don't really like to draw attention to myself. Which is just one of the things that makes what happened yesterday especially embarrassing (and, as you'll see, kind of painful).

Yesterday after work I thought I'd go shopping. I had a lot of errands to run before I head out of town this weekend, and decided that a certain store whose logo is a red bulls eye would be the best place to go. I rode the subway to the shopping center, stopped at the bank, popped in at a clothing store to peruse the sale, and headed to the big store, list in hand.

I was about four feet from the door when I felt it happen. My feet just went out from under me. I reached out for the door handle to stop my fall and missed. But my face didn't miss. It hit the door just fine. I hit the door, nose first, right on the handle, and then hit the ground. I broke my glasses, got a bloody nose, and, to add insult to injury, got cuts on my face from where my glasses frames hit me. I was stunned, and then I started freaking out because I am blind without my glasses. The employees and some nice customers helped me get up and get out of the way and collected my belongings (and can I just say how grateful I am that all the undergarments I had just purchased did not spill out of their bag? That would have been the icing on the awful cake). By this time I had realized that my glasses were destroyed, and was crying and bleeding everywhere. I finally remembered that I had an old pair of glasses in my book bag, so that calmed me down a little, since at least I could get home that way, and then I started worrying that maybe I had broken my nose, but the paramedics who came (the store insisted) said I was okay. I filled out a bunch of forms, cleaned up as best as I could, got some kleenex for the road, and headed home.

Did you know that if you're covered in blood, nobody will try and sit by you on the bus? It's true.
If you like to people watch, and you take a lot of public transportation, you have seen that person. That crazy-looking scary person on the bus or the train. Yesterday I was that person.

I spent an uncomfortable night trying to sleep, and then spent most of today getting the glasses taken care of. The frames were shot, but the lenses were okay, so I found a place that could pop them into a new frame, so at least I can see again. (The old pair wasn't quite right, and I was not looking forward to having to wear them for long). I also got an eye exam and a new prescription, and am going to go order a new pair when I get back next week. As an aside, I went to two different locations of a place that rhymes with schmenscrafters, and they were so rude (although their doctor was very nice). I got much better service at what the schmenscrafters saleslady nastily referred to as "the lower end" place across the street, where they found me new frames and where I will be ordering my new pair later. Seriously, those ladies were not nice and so they won't be getting my business in the future.

Now that the glasses are taken care of, I've just got the bruises and cuts to deal with. (and a really sore nose. I keep poking it to see if it's still hurting. It is. I should stop doing that).
I have to wear a bandage on my nose because the cuts are right on the bridge of my nose where the glasses sit. I tried to be as inconspicuous with the bandages as possible, but I do look like I've had a nose job or something right now. And of course this would happen at the start of a two-week period in which my social calendar is fully booked for once. Including a date-ish thing.
Just my luck.
On the train, on the streets, at school, I felt like everyone was staring at me and my messed up face today. This is not what I had in mind when I wanted to be noticed.*

*Although, this being New York, I was still not the oddest person on the subway this morning. That honor goes to you, man wearing multiple strings of pearls.