Eeek!

This has definitely been the week that got away from me. I went to New York twice for apartment hunting (still working on finding a place to live), and work has been pretty busy. When I've come home each night, all I wanted to do was fall face-first into bed, but I managed to do some knitting anyways. I swatched for my Mystery Stole 3, and am pretty happy with it as far as appearance and needle size go. I am not very good at blocking, though, and mine doesn't look as pretty as it could. I think I need to put more pins in next time.

I also got to work on my socks. I had a late start to the Summer of Socks, since I didn't get to start my socks until Sunday, but I've gotten a good bit done on them. Back in May I started a pair of Baudelaire socks and only finished one. I cast on for the second one and am now about half-way up the foot. The figure-8 cast on went much more smoothly this time, and I've finally gotten to the point where I have the lace pattern pretty much memorized. Most of the time when I knit charted projects I have to have the instructions right there with me, but for this sock I seem to be doing okay without. That will change when I get to the heel section, but I'm good for now. I am still too grumpy to deal with the other pair of socks that needs completing. The more I think about it, the more I think I'll end up ripping out the whole thing and knitting it slightly larger and on bigger needles. I should have known it would be too small, but I just got in the zone and kept knitting. They were supposed to be birthday gifts for my mom, but they were too small, so I had to think of something else for her. Today's her birthday, by the way, so Happy Birthday Mom! (although she doesn't read this, but I'm putting it out there anyways.)

Only four more rows to go on Icarus until I change charts. The rows are getting so long right now that it's hard for me to get more than 4 in during one sitting. The purl rows seem especially monotonous. Still, being so close to a major transition point is making the knitting really exciting right now. I'll be glad to move on to the next row of the shawl. There are three charts left to go, but they shouldn't take nearly as much time as the first one did.

I'll take some photos soon to document the progress on my various projects. This will be a pretty busy weekend for me, so hopefully I can get it done tonight. Knowing that people might check my blog is a pretty good reason to be better at updating!

Howdy!

Hi! Welcome to my blog! Tonight I finally gave this blog address to the lovely ladies at my Stitch n' Bitch. I don't know why I waited so long to let people know about this thing. I guess I was nervous about what people will think about what I write. Also, I'm a little paranoid about web safety. Once it's out there, the whole world can see it, etc. But they asked, so I gave out the address. So hi!

Since I joined the Mystery Stole knit-a-long last week, I've been eagerly awaiting my needles and yarn. The needles came today. I've been wanting to try Knitpicks options for a while, since several people I know rave about them. And of course I had to add a few things to the order.
I got needles and cables, a skein of Alpaca Cloud to help me finish my Icarus (I don't think I have enough yarn), some Shadow in Grape Jelly (love that name), and a little sock yarn -- pretty colors, huh? I also got Knitting Vintage Socks, which I'm really looking forward to reading. And they threw in a color card! How nice is that?

I also took a picture of my marathon project, the Icarus shawl from Interweave Knits Summer 2006. I think I've been working on this, on and off, for about six months, and I'm just now approaching the point where I get to change to chart 2 of 4. It doesn't look like much now, but it's prettier in person. I'm using Knitpicks Alpaca Cloud in Moss.

Also, here's a picture of my awesome baby sweater, Trellis from Knitty. It was for a friend's baby, and I'm really proud of it. I hope the baby likes it! I called it my little old man sweater, since it reminds me of, well, a little old man's sweater. I'd like to do something similar in an adult size one day. It's in Patons Classic, but I don't remember the color name.

Finally, here is the lovely Minnie, cat extraordinaire. She's a camera hog.

I've been out all day, and Minnie needs a little affection, so that's it for today. I hope I didn't just bore all my new readers to pieces.

Still here!

I'm still around, just too lazy to post much. Since I last wrote I:

1. Went to the 2007 Tonner Doll Collectors Convention (so much fun) which was in Orlando, so I also
2. Went to Disney World, then I
3. Made a quick visit back home to Texas, while all the while I
4. Freaked out about my impending move to New York City.

(Number 4 is still in progress). Hopefully I'll have some news to report on the apartment front after this weekend. I'm hoping to get down there and see some places on Saturday. If anybody reads this, please keep your fingers crossed for me.

I'm also going to try and get some pictures up this weekend of the world's most awesome baby sweater (a.k.a. the only sweater I have ever made) and the world's most awesome cat, Minnie, who has been mostly forgiven for her truly heinous crimes of Tuesday night. I don't think my bathroom rugs will ever be the same. Luckily I was going to buy new ones once I move. In the meantime, let's just say I won't be winning any home decor awards with what is left of them.

I also joined another knit-a-long, the Mystery Stole 3. I don't know if I can do this one technically or practically (is it too hard for my skills, and considering that I am still on the body section of Icarus, is it insane to even be thinking about another lace project?), but I've ordered the yarn and I'm going to give it the old college try. I also ordered a bunch of stuff from knitpicks, and I can't wait for it to arrive. Once it all comes, though, I'm going to have to go on a yarn diet for a while. I've got plenty of sock yarn, plus some odds and ends for other projects (yay washcloths!), and the yarn for an entire granny square afghan, so that will hopefully get me through the fall, unless I decide to do some X-mas knitting, but that's for gifts, so it won't count. :)
On the needles right now, I've got two different socks, that darn shawl, a washcloth, and the enormous blue afghan of doom (on hold until fall, because it's too big and hot to work on now). I also have to finish two bags, which are all knit but need linings, handles, and buttons. Hmm, I'll have to get some of these up in a sidebar like I've seen in other blogs. That would look neat.

Summer of Socks!

I joined a knit-a-long. Since I'm currently addicted to sock knitting, I thought this would be a good one. Also, there aren't any requirements other than liking sock knitting, so I think it sounds like something I can commit to. It starts on June 21.

Eight months without a post. That's pretty sad. I'd feel worse about it, except I don't really think anyone reads this. But I'm trying again, again. I think maybe I'll eventually get the hang of this.

There is much to report in my life, but not much that I can really freely blog about. I'm leaving my current job, moving, and starting graduate school. (The plan is to eventually become Erin, Ph.D. ) I have had lots of anxiety about whether or not grad school is a good idea, whether or not I picked the right program, and whether or not I am insane to be trying this.

As an aside, if I'm going to be studying American stuff, why do I need to take two foreign languages? All the literature I'm going to need will be in English. I guess it makes me look smarter and better educated. Je pense que c'est une idée stupide. I don't know if I got the gender and accents right on that, though, so I guess it's probably time to get studying. Merde.

I'm feeling a little bit of panic over all the big changes in my life, and my response to all of them has been to make like a turtle and hide here in my apartment. But that, I hope, is coming to an end soon, or at least soonish.

Coming soon: materialism and the perils of moving to a super tiny apartment, crazy things my cat has and hasn't eaten lately, and my very first finished hand-knit sweater! Also, socks! This blog just gets more and more exciting, doesn't it?

Erin participates on the web! Yay!

Hi there!

So, I signed up for Socktoberfest! I'm very excited because I haven't done any knitalongs before. This one seems very laid-back, which is good, plus, it combines two things I enjoy -- socks and beer. Well, the beer isn't mandatory, but I think it will make things more fun.

My goal for Socktoberfest is to finish my stripey socks (I have 2/3 a sock at the moment) and to finish one sock out of a pair of Jaywalkers.

Here's my button for Socktoberfest (gee, that's fun to type). Oh look, it showed up up there. I'll figure this out eventually.

I hope to figure out how to link it and get it into my sidebar soonish.

Here's the link for Socktoberfest: http://www.lollygirl.com/blog/

Yeesh

Ok.

Here I am.

You know, there are only so many times I can say I'm starting over on this blogging thing before even I start to not believe it anymore.

But, I'm a big optimist, so I'm not quite there yet.

So here's my problem, broken into small managable bits, as well as my proposed solution:

1. I'm lazy.

• Well, I don't quite know what to do about this. I've tried to combat this by making my desk / computer area as pleasant as possible, but I still have a hard time sitting in front of the computer when it's summertime. We'll see what my excuse is come fall.

2. I'm busy.

• I am, really. I've got plenty to do at work, plus I have a big, not-quite-work-related project that is due very soon, and I feel kind of guilty if I spend any non-work computer time doing anything other than this project. My solution? Don't work on the computer at all! It's brilliant, but it doesn't really get any work done, now does it?

3. I don't know what to write about.

• This is a problem. I'm most attracted to knit and craft blogs and I love the idea of participating in knitalongs and swaps, so that may be where this thing is heading. I might also post cat pictures.

Well, that's it for now. I'm heading back to Texas for some vacation and (drumroll, please) my high school reunion. I am highly ambivalent about this event, but am consoling myself with two thoughts. My best friend will be there and I think there's an open bar.

Since my parents go to bed extremely early, I'm hopeful that I'll get some posting done while I'm there.

Blech!

Although the actual heat wave seems to be over, it's still plenty hot and humid here. This kind of weather seems to just suck the life right out of me, and the will to post goes right with it.

I had a fun but busy weekend, with two roadtrips in two days. I had a great time, but it's now late on Sunday and I certainly don't feel rested, refreshed, and ready to face a new work week.

I didn't even get to sleep in this weekend (overly dramatic SIGH!)

Oh well, at least there was plenty of shopping and good food. That makes up for a lot.

I haven't forgotten about my book list, and I've got a bunch of titles to type in as soon as I feel up to it.

Well

It's been a very busy week here at chez P. There were fireworks, barbecue, and too much work for a three-day workweek. There was also Sharpe (#3, Sharpe's Company) and Pirates of the Caribbean 2 (truly awesome in just about every way), so that more than made up for the work part. There was also knitting, and cocktails, and Thai food, and the sad news that several of my favorite people are moving away. I guess since more of my college friends are moving to the East Coast this is nature's way of balancing things out. Well I say poop on you, Nature!

I think there were also hairballs, although HRH has not yet disclosed their location yet. I heard the horking in the middle of the night and declined to investigate. I know they're out there, I just don't know where. It's making me a little nervous. Such is life with a cat.

At least the weather is good, which is nice because my apartment is unairconditioned except for a small unit in the bedroom, so I'm always glad for balmy weather. The last few nights I've actually been able to sleep under the sheets, which doesn't happen much in the summer months.

And now it's Sunday evening, and I have to contemplate the dreadful thought of Monday and a full week's worth of work. I think I'm going in to New York on Thursday, so that will be nice. I've run out of bagels, so it's time to make another stop at H&H. I never used to be a bagel snob -- I'm not really much of a food snob at all, but I really do feel that their bagels have spoiled me on any other pretenders to the name. They're so good it should probably be illegal. I got some when I was down in NY with my parents and ate the last one this morning. At least I only have to do without for a few days.

Other than my impending bagel-acquisition trip, there isn't much to look forward to this week. As I start to plan out my next career move, I really find myself questioning what I want to do with my life. I sort of fell into this field by accident, and I like it well enough I guess, but I really always thought it wouldn't be that hard to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Turns out it's really difficult. I'm at a crossroads, and if I want to make a change, this is my chance, but I'm afraid to commit to my current path AND afraid to step off onto a new one. I just want someone to tell me what do do. Unfortunately, that someone has to be me, and I don't know what to say.

Here I am

Photo removed due to author cowardice and general unsightliness. You'll just have to imagine how cute I am.

****

No, cuter than that.

****
Cuter.

****

No, not quite that cute.

There you go.

I'm baack!

I've been thinking, and I'm back, and I only deleted one post, about that thing that happened that I'm not going to talk about anymore.

The big question that has stopped me from posting lately (aside from my crippling and inherent laziness), is what kind of blog do I want to have.

So, what kind of blog do I want to have?

I can't mommy blog (not a mommy)

I can't cat blog (the cat won't sit still in those costumes long enough to get a picture. I'm kidding -- or am I???)

I could blog about work, but I like having a job and I'd like to keep on having one.

I could go all TMI and tell you about the salacious details of my life, but there aren't any.

I could blog about crafts, but I'm a little nervous about putting all the things I make up here for the world to see.

I could blog about cooking, but there's nothing exciting about the sandwich I plan to have for dinner tonight.

I just don't know.
I don't know what I want this blog to be.
I don't know what I want to be, and I think that might be part of the problem.

BUT

I really need to make some changes in my life, of that I'm sure, and I've decided that one of them will be blogging.

I'm trying to make a comittment here, to tell you (if there are any yous out there) about my life.

So, here's something to start:

This weekend, I was visited by my fabulous friend Jen. We went to a free They Might be Giants concert, which rocked. And then we shook John Flansburgh's hand, which rocked even more. We were still giddy 24 hours later. We ate much fine food and many tasty desserts. There was shopping. There was a viewing of The Great Muppet Caper. I knit a baby hat. We discussed the sad decline into soft-core p*rniness of the once awesome (but grammatically-challenged) Anita Blake series.

And the best part is that the fabulous Jen will shortly be moving to the glamorous and exciting East Coast, so there will be many more excellent adventures to come. Many of my friends from Texas are setting up house up and down the Atlantic seaboard, which is wonderful, because it will be so much fun to visit them all. It was lonely out here by myself.

And then! Today! I bought a salad spinner! And some Drain-0! I tell you, the excitement never stops around here.

All in all not a bad long weekend. And there's still tomorrow to go.

Time for a rebranding

It should be pretty obvious by now that this isn't the world's greatest blog. Between the lackluster posting and the lackluster writing, we're really a little dull around the Passimenterie household right now. So we're going on a hiatus, to learn some html, to do some writing for work, and to think about what we've done (and what we'd like to do).

So stay tuned for something that will hopefully be, if not new and different, at least more frequently updated. And hopefully prettier.

Thanks!

Erin

More books.

What, so now after I post how crappy you are, you decide to work? Typical.

Anyway, while I've been offline, I've been doing lots of reading. I think the high volume is largely due to how much I don't want to deal with real life right now. Books are much nicer.

So....

14. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris
15. The Great Psychedelic Armadillo Picnic (A Walk in Austin) by Kinky Friedman
16. The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin
17. Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain
18. Elegance by Kathleen Tessaro
19. Under the Duvet: Shoes, Reviews, Having the Blues, Builders, Babies, Families, and Other Calamities by Marian Keyes
20. The Dirty Girls Social Club by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez
21. The Other Side of the Story by Marian Keyes
22. Rachel's Holiday by Marian Keyes
23. To Say Nothing of the Dog by Connie Willis
24. The Family Trade by Charles Stross

Comments on each to follow. Off to go watch Grey's Anatomy. TTFN.

I hate my computer THIS MUCH!!!!!

Five exclamation points worth, that's how much. Internet explorer is being a real b*tch tonight, just when I finally got motivated to write a post again. For some weird reason, it's being really selective about the links it chooses to open.

I hate you computer. I hate you and all your stupid machinery. You have been nothing but trouble since I bought you, and I'll be in debt until October to pay your non-functional and stupid self off. What a worthless hunk of junk!

Aw baby, I didn't mean it, come on, give me another chance. I'll type really nicely, I promise.

Books, books, and more books (and a deep, philosophical thought)

More for my 2006 list:

10. The Devil in Music by Kate Ross -- Loved this one as much as I loved the previous two, despite the potentially spoilery printers' error in my copy (two chapters were reversed in order). Now I just have to find the last of her four Julian Kestrel novels, which seems to be out of print at the moment. I'm kind of glad it might be difficult to find though. It always sucks when you finally find an author that you really enjoy, you read all their books, and then you realize that there won't ever be anymore. It's really a shame. I do enjoy rereading books, but even though that's fun, you never get quite the same thrill as you do when you're reading something for the first time.

11. Chicks in Chainmail by various authors, ed. Ester Friesner -- With a title like this, how could I resist. This compilation of short stories riffs on that classic of bad fantasy covers, the buff babe in an itsy bitsy teeny weeny chainmail bikini. Most of the stories had a humorous slant, and I really enjoyed them -- most fantasy is too male-centric for me, and the girl-power attitude of these was great, if occasionally a bit heavy-handed. Still, it's way past time that the ladies got their due, and I'd happily pick up any of the sequels if I see them at the bookstore.

12. The Secret History of the Pink Carnation by Lauren Willig -- Being a big fan of the Scarlet Pimpernel (both the book and the thoroughly awesome movie starring Anthony Andrews), I had to pick this up. The story of a grad student's search to discover the true identity of British spy and swashbuckler the Pink Carnation, the book is both chick lit and historical fiction. I was initially a little disappointed in it. Being a connoisseur of pink-jacketed literature, I was pretty sure I knew where both the present-day story and the historical one were going, and I wasn't entirely happy about it. But then Willig did exactly what I was hoping she'd do, plot and character-wise, and I started really enjoying myself again. The characters were fun and I'll definitely have to check out the sequel.

13. The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson -- The story of the 1893 Columbian Exposition and the mass murderer H. H. Holmes, this book has been on my list for a long time. While the overly dramatic writing style (cliffhangers abound) and fictionalized murder scenes bothered a friend of mine who reads lots of true crime, I actually thought they worked pretty well. The melodramatic style is sort of appropriate to the time and place where the story is set. It's very penny dreadful, in a good way. The murder bits were appropriately grisly, but maybe all those Patricia Cornwall novels have desensitized me to the violence -- it's nothing worse than Kay Scarpetta runs across. Except that this was real, of course, and that 's what makes it really horrifying. The 1893 Exposition was a major event for Chicago and the country, and it was really interesting to see all these different threads of American culture that have ties to it. From Ferris wheels to Frank Lloyd Wright to Walt Disney and the belly dance, the fair's influence is still with us, and I really liked the way Larson brought that out. It made me willing to overlook some of the dramatic flourishes that bothered my friend so much. It's such an interesting story, it would have been hard to write a boring book on the subject. Not that people haven't, but that's a story for another day.

Oh, I almost forgot my deep thought:

How many books are too many? While I firmly believe you can never have too many books, I do believe that you can run out of places to put them. I have a lot of books, although I very foolishly left many of them back at my parents' house. Every time I go home, I come back with a bag full to repopulate my collection here. I'm lucky in that I have plenty of space for more bookcases (which I dearly need to go ahead and buy), but lately I've started to think about how to cull my collection. It's very difficult for me to get rid of a book, even if I know I'm not really going to want to reread it. I mean, you never know when you might need a book and then what if you can 't find it?? What then, eh? So far I've been keeping a book if (1) I might need it for grad school or work research, (2) it has sentimental value, or (3)it's one of my favorites. While it's pretty easy to decide what falls under category 1, categories 2 and 3 are harder to define. I like all my books, mostly, and I'm more sentimental about them than I'd like. There are no-brainer keepers, like my collection of Barbara Michaels and Colin Dexters. I could happily reread them any day. But that copy of Canterbury Tales in olde English? I'll probably never read it again, but it reminds me of my study abroad trip to England, where I took a class on Chaucer. Is it worth keeping? It is for now, but in an few years, who knows. I'll also admit that I'm a victim of book snobbery. It makes me feel smart and well educated to have certain books on my shelf, even if I haven't read them since college. I want people to know that I read all those Russian short stories. I suffered through them, I deserve to get credit for them. (Actually, I liked most of them, but I don't really see myself picking them up again any time soon). So for now, I'm getting rid of the easy ones. The romance novels I bought in airports to have something to read on the plane, the chicklit I can't stop buying -- most of them are like junk food, I love them while I'm reading them, but afterwards I feel slightly ill and dirty. I'll worry about the rest of it when I finally run out of shelves.

Not Dead Yet.

I'm just sayin'.

More after I get home from an exciting lecture on Victorian wallpaper.

On my nightstand

Books I've just finished but don't have much to say about:

8. The Cat Who Dropped a Bombshell by Lillian Jackson Braun

The only mystery here is why there isn't any mystery in this book. Very obvious and formulaic, but I CAN'T STOP READING THEM. Send help.


9. Whom the Gods Love by Kate Ross

I liked this one even more than I liked the first one. Once again, I thought I knew where it was going, and was mostly wrong. But I don't really mind. Very fun, even if it did get a little spoiled by a very spoilery blurb on the back cover.

Who Needs Sleep?

I couldn't sleep last night. I woke up at about 3 a.m., worried about something, I don't know what. I then started worrying about work, thinking of things I need to do and issues that have to be addressed. Then I started worrying about money, and the housing situation, and then my pathetic little social life. I tossed and turned and kicked the covers off then pulled them back up again. I just couldn't get comfortable, so I went out to the living room and read the rest of the Times that I hadn't gotten to on Sunday.

That kept me busy till my alarm went off. Then, of course, I got sleepy. I crawled in bed for a little while, listening to Morning Edition interspersed with the spring fundraising drive. I would have liked to contribute, but it seemed more prudent to hold on to my money so I'll have an apartment in which to listen to the radio next summer.

Now I'm so tired, and I came home and shoveled snow. Normally waiting to shovel is a bad idea, since things get all icy and hard to move, but since it was pretty warm today it was more like shoveling a slushie. At least my car is free now.

I have a terrible day to look forward to at work tomorrow. Irrespective of all the other crud going on over there, tomorrow is the day for a monthly meeting I absolutely dread. Talk talk talk and nothing ever gets decided and done. I'd space out, but it's my job to take minutes so I have to pay attention. Blech. At least I'll have part of the afternoon free -- it's the one benefit of traveling to this meeting. I'm not looking forward to the commute though.

I'm still nervous and upset, but I'm coping. Mom and Dad are out of town this week, so I can't even call them for some comfort. Not that there's much they could do, but it always makes me feel better to talk to them. At least they're always on my side.

I'm getting tired, so it's off to bed for some quality television time. I just wish Project Runway was on earlier. I don't know if I can make it to 10 p.m. tonight. Sorry to be so boring, but nobody's reading anyway so I don't guess it matters much.

More books, again

Thanks to the blizzard, I've had a chance to catch up on my reading. When I'm not seething with rage, of course. (Just kidding, really. No, REALLY.)

Here are the latest books I've finished:

6. Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire. I love books that take a story we think we know by heart and look at it from another perspective. So I thought I'd really like Wicked. But the first time I tried to read it, soon after it came out and long before the musical had ever come to Broadway, I couldn't get through the first chapter. Something kept turning me off, and I eventually returned the book to the library and got on with my life. But now the musical has been a huge success, and I heard a song from the soundtrack one day ("Defying Gravity"), and I thought, well why the heck not? This time I was determined to hold on until I got to the Elphaba / Galinda part (which as I understand it, makes up the bulk of the show, which I will admit right now I've never actually seen). There is a lot going on in the beginning of the book, and though it opens with a scene featuring the Witch and Dorothy, it then goes back in time and things get confusing and weird. The Oz in this book is darker and far more disturbing than the MGM movie version. But given that L. Frank Baum included lots of symbolism about the gold standard and other events central to life in late nineteenth-century America in his book, it is perhaps not surprising that this version is packed full of conflicts that don't seem to alien to a twentyfirst-century viewpoint. Racism, religious conflict, and imperialism all rear there heads, and what seems to be the central question of the book -- what is evil and what makes people become that way -- seems very timely. This time I liked it. It was fun to see Oz through another set of eyes, and to try and pick out elements that would play a part in Baum's book. Elphaba is a difficult character. I didn't quite like her, or pity her, and there were times when I couldn't even really understand her, or her actions. Maybe that's why she felt real, though.

7. Cut to the Quick by Kate Ross. I have the feeling I've read a Julian Kestrel novel before, but none of the plot synopses looked quite familiar in the bookstore. Still, a Regency gentleman detective seemed fun, so I picked up this one, the first in a series of four. While visiting in the country, Julian Kestrel finds a dead woman in his bed. Who is she? And who put her there? As soon as the murder occurred, I started piecing together theories. There were plenty of candidates for murderer and motive. While I was close, I wasn't quite right. I really enjoyed the characters and plot, which took many of the elements of the Regency romances I adored as a preteen and combined them with the English Country House Murder, one of my favorite mystery sub-genres. Kestrel was very engaging. Like other detectives in the British Mystery arena (Peter Wimsey, Albert Campion), he masks his considerable intellect behind the facade of a society dandy. It was also fun to see how the mystery got solved without even the basics of forensic science, which plays such a (necessary) part in many modern mysteries. Fun all around.

Angry, with occasional optimism

So I'm still mad. But now I'm mad with a purpose.

I've had a lot of time to think about what happened to me on Thursday. I'm hurt and angry, but the more I think about the situation and the personalities involved, the more I begin to see the reasons why things have turned out the way they did. I don't like them or understand them, but at least I see what was really going on while I was innocently dreaming of a future that was never going to be mine.

And while it's still infuriating, I'm gaining at least a little perspective on the situation. I was always a little unsure about the whole darn thing, and this way, at least, I don't have to deal with the question of whether or not I really wanted it, or whether it was really the best career mover right now. It's a little freeing, really. I have the whole world in front of me, and relatively few restrictions on where I can go or what I can do. I've been thinking a lot about where my life should go next, and while this whole episode has kind of highlighted the foolishness of trying to plan too far ahead, I have come up with several viable and relatively pleasant options.

Graduate school? And if so, what kind of program, and where? Is this the time to bite the bullet and try out librarianism? What other jobs are open out there -- and not just the ones in my field? If I'm going to branch out, this may be the time. It's a little thrilling. I haven't felt this way in a while.

I'm still a little upset about the manner and timing in which this whole thing played out, but I don't feel quite as persecuted as I was on Thursday. Things happen, and it is nobody's responsibility but my own to see that my feelings don't get hurt. I'm still proud of what I accomplished in these past few months. I did well, and they really can't take that away from me. It hurt, but this is not a killing blow. I am not beaten, and I will persevere. I will keep doing my job, and I will keep doing it well. I will not let the bastards get me down.