Stitching and bitching

I've always loved craft projects of any kind. Give me some yarn or some felt or some glitter and a glue gun, and I'm a happy camper. A happy sparkly camper. I learned to crochet in college and taught myself to knit shortly thereafter. Although I've never attempted anything that wasn't rectangular (scarves and afghans only), I really love the acts of knitting and crochet. The instant feeling of accomplishment as your piece takes form before your eyes, the soft click of the needles, the wrestling with the cat over that oh-so-tempting flying yarn. Every now and again I remember how much I like yarn-based crafts, haul out my supplies, and make a scarf. This is especially useful now that I live in New England where scarves are actually a useful item of clothing. In Texas, our scarves are more decorative than anything else.

When I started crafting again this time, I resolved to finally conquer knitting. The last time I attempted this, which was last Christmas, I believe, I nearly tore my hair out. There was tangled yarn, phantom increases, and chaos in the streets. This time, I approached the thing carefully and with great determination. Now I have a ribbed scarf. It's a lovely soft grey and it's nearly long enough to finish off. To inspire me to master the fundamentals of the craft, I looked at a number of knitting books. One of my favorites was Stitch n' Bitch. I liked the title, and the fact that it seemed modern and hip, unlike the straight out of the early 80's models who adorned my "Teach Yourself to Knit in Just One Day" pamphlet. I liked the book so much that I resolved to join my local Stitch and Bitch group.

I signed up on their mailing list and proceeded to think of two months' worth of reasons not to go to the meetings. It's too hot, I'm too tired, I have too much work, I don't want to move my car (hey, if you don't have on-street parking, you just don't understand). Last week I finally ran out of excuses and went. I can't believe I was nervous about going. I had a wonderful time and met some very nice people. I went again tonight, and felt great afterwards, and my scarf is nearly done!

I often let my shyness and insecurity stop me from doing things I really want to do. The excuses I created to avoid going to the meetings were all about avoiding doing something I was nervous about. I used to do this all the time when I was a kid. I'd whine and cry about going somewhere strange or new. I'd tell Mom I didn't want to go. She'd bargain with me. If I went and stayed for some pre-set amount of time (say half an hour) then I could go home. I'd grudgingly agree, sure that we'd be heading home as soon as the clock allowed. Needless to say, nine times out of ten, I stayed that half hour, and then some, and didn't want to go home. Mom always says that once you get there, you'll like it. And once again, she's right.

Getting my blog on

I don't know what to say. I really shouldn't feel so badly about this since I'm the only person who knows this blog exists, but I feel terrible about how long it's been since I last posted and how infrequent my postings have been. I love to write, and feel that I'm actually not a half-bad writer, but the fact that I can't even seem to manage a blog entry or two a week really doesn't seem to bode well for that writing career I like to dream about.

There's been so much going on in my life in the past few months, not to mention all the world and national events that have been weighing heavily on my mind, that I really ought to be rolling in material for good posts. But I just can't seem to sit down and type them out. I'd like to blame my schedule, or my computer, or my super-slow internet connection, but they're not really the things responsible for my silence. I'm just lazy, and it's easier to compose blog entries in my head while I'm in the shower, or drifting off to sleep, or spacing out during a meeting.

But lately, these past few weeks, I feel like I'm really on the verge of something. I hope it's a new beginning, for me and the blog, rather than a nervous breakdown. I'm ready to make a number of changes in my life, hopefully I can write about some of them here. I'm trying for a goal of one post a week for now. That doesn't seem too much, and presumably it will be something I can remember to do weekly, like taking out the trash or moving my car for the street sweepers. With that goal in mind, here's a post for this week.

We're trying this again, again.

Okay, here I go again. I'm going to try to update this sucker more often. Maybe if I don't even attempt profundity, it will be easier to think of things to type.

Spurred on by a friend's visit in the past few days, I decided to do more blogging. I miss having someone to chat with all the time. It's much harder to be funny by myself.

Ten random thoughts I had today

1. Why are grumpy doctors with Vicodin addictions so very, very attractive? But only on t.v.

2. What would you call the scent of all the Yankee Candle company flavors combined? Harvest Headache? Morning migrane? Lily of the upper respiratory congestion?

3. IKEA is one of the most wonderful places on earth. Mmmm... cheap meatballs.

4. Baby shoes are very tiny and very cute.

5. Sometimes I should listen to the people who tell me that certain things are bad for me. Reading this was a very bad idea. I can't ever unknow what happens in the book.

6. Reading this was a very good idea. I checked it out of the library solely because the Decembrists wrote a song about her. It was fabulous, and now I'm really looking forward to the rest of the series.

7. I don't want to go back to work tomorrow.

8. I think my mailman hates me. My mail keeps getting delivered later and later every day.

9. I love my ipod. Love it. I named it Willie. I love it.

10. Thanks for the chocolates Jennifer. They're delicious!

Here we go again!

So we'll try this once more. This is even harder than a paper diary really. Not only can I not write these entries in bed (the phone cord to my modem doesn't stretch that far), but I have the added pressure of knowing that there just might be someone out there who might actually read this. The diary, though lockless, is far more secure in that respect.

So,

things that are making me smile today:

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
www.rathergood.com (I especially like anything with the kittens)
Did you know you can get Dallas on DVD?

Up up and away

Saw The Aviator today. It didn't feel like a 3+ hour movie, at least not until the end. Although I enjoyed the film for the most part (Gwen Stefani? really? was there no one else in Hollywood willing to dye their hair platinum blonde? After all the buildup she got for this part, I was pleasantly gratified to see that she was only on screen for a minute or so. Not a big fan.), it was really the audience that got to me.

The coughing, the getting up to go to the bathroom (ok, it was a long movie, but come on, did you have to stand there in front of the screen for five minutes before and after your potty break? Let me help you out here. He was crazy when you got up to go and still crazy when you came back.), the whispering, and the goddamn cellphones. I heard at least four ringing during the movie. At least nobody started having a conversation in the middle of the film. They have silent and vibrate features for a reason, people! Use them.

There, I feel better.

The movie was fun, and it was also beautiful .. the sets, costumes, etc., were gorgeous. Beautiful 1930s and 40s Hollywood art deco glamour. I thought they dressed Katharine Hepburn wonderfully. And the Coconut Grove and Howard's place (before he started stashing pee bottles everywhere) were great, if a bit overly green (seriously, there were other colors available for interior decorating besides green, black, and red). Given my profession (material culture and art history) I always notice sets and costumes, and these were great. Some of my friends in the field can't turn off their internal "Historian" switches. They're always criticizing even the smallest on-screen details. I get like that too, mainly when the movie is really horrible already or when they're butchering a time and a place I love dearly (Hello The Patriot, I'm talking to you! on both counts!), but for the most part I can turn off the scholarly part of my brain when I have to and just enjoy the action. This time, I was having too good a time to do much nit-picking, but I didn't really notice anything egregious to pick apart. There was a little too much naked ranting and shaking though. Martin? Leo? I get it, he's going crazy! He's obsessive! He's compulsive! He likes to drink milk! It was nicely telegraphed with just a few scenes. No need to go overboard, but I guess it does help emphasize the OCD part when even the film seems to keep repeating itself.

Now it's time for another work week. Things are going to be hectic, plus I've got jury duty. I've always wanted to serve on a jury. I thought it would be kind of cool. So could they summon me during the year I spent as a substitute teacher with the world's most flexible schedule? No! They decided to wait until one of the two busiest months of the year for my department, at a time when I'm right in the middle of several major projects. And in the winter, no less? At least the weather is supposed to be good, or so The Weather Channel says. I do want to do my civic duty, though, so I hope that if I do get chosen it will be on an interesting (and short case)

If at first you don't succeed....

So I'm not really good with this blogging thing, am I? It's hard to find things to write about that I wouldn't mind if the rest of the world read. Not that anyone's likely to ever read this thing. But still.

I'm having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. Which is odd, because I actually have money to spend on people this year. And it hasn't really snowed yet, which you'd think would make me happy. I think it's because of work. Responsibility is hard. Promotions sound really good in theory, but the trouble is they want you to work harder in exchange for that bigger paycheck.

It's good to have more to do. I was kind of bored as an intern. Every time I finished a phase of my main project, there was nothing to do for a day or two, and I could sit back in my corner and stop and breathe for a moment. That doesn't happen anymore. By the time I get one thing checked off my to-do list, two more things have arrived to fill its place. There are at least four crucial projects that need to be done RIGHT NOW, plus about a million other things that need to be completed eventually, plus all the stuff that would be nice to do one day. By the time I get home each night, all I want to do is eat my dinner and go to bed, but I have to work on an article or research project that will hopefully advance this career I decided I wanted, and I don't know how to find the time because I'm so damn tired.

But I did get most of my shopping done today. I finished up what I needed for other people, and I also got some things for myself. It feels a little decadent, buying presents for yourself at Christmastime. It also feels good. After this month, I feel I've earned it.

Will it get easier? In a few months will I get used to the daily grind? Will the feeling that everything is urgent and the future of my job and the institution as a whole hinges on even the smallest decision ever go away? I hope so. People seem to have confidence in me, and I hope it's justified.

First Post

I have a blog. In accordance with a fine and long-standing tradition of jumping on bandwagons, I've finally gotten my very own new and shiny blog. This is now the point where blogs become passe and all you cool kids move on to the next big trend.